Need some help?
by InheritedMadness
Summary: The gods are going crazy. Hades is angry at people using his name as a curse word. Zeus is getting in arguments with Hera. The solution? Anger management
1. Anger Management? Bah

**A/N: If you like this, REVIEW. If you don't, REVIEW.(Constructive Criticism. Please don't flame)If you skimmed this because it was too boring, REVIEW anyway. If you never read Authors Notes, still REVIEW and prove you are a good person. If you think I'm just ranting, REVIEW and tell me that. REVIEW, REVIEW, and REVIEW! Did you get my message? Well to prevent further messages, please REVIEW! Get my point? _Now,_ to the story. Oh and I accept suggestions. **

**Chapter 1: Anger Management? Bah.**

"So, Zeus."Hera said.

"What the Hades do you want now?"he screamed, somewhat pissed off at his wife.

"I think you need anger management, dear."Hera said coolly. A devilish smile was on her face.

"Shut the Hades up!"he yelled back.

"Let us control our-"she was cut off by an outburst from Zeus.

"Control your face you son of a Hades!" Disbelief crossed Hera's face.

"You just called me a what?"Hera screamed murderously. Their faces were a few inches apart. Static electricity seemed to cross the gap between their eyes.

"A son of a Hades? Oh wait... My mistake. Ummm...AHA! You are a daughter of Hades! Finally got that grammar"he shouted as if he was the revolutionary thinker of the century.

"I'll put you next to Einstein for that!she screamed.

"Whoa. I must be smart."

"No you dumb son of a Hades! I mean that I'm gonna send you to the grave like all the other dead dudes that I killed!"

"Wait...so we're siblings now."his face became an expression of horror. "And we are married? Ew." Hera just facepalmed. Zeus could be such a dimwit sometimes.

$$$$$$$$$$ Somewhere in the Underworld $$$$$$$$$$

"Just send me to hell,"Hades groaned, clutching his forehead in obvious pain. An Iris Message showed him Hera and Zeus's argument. Then he realized he was in hell... king of it. Sometimes, being a god wasn't as great as you thought. For one, you couldn't commit suicide.

" Can't you use hell? AM I THAT EVIL?"he screeched.

"Yeah."Persephone replied. Hades glared at her.

"I didn't ask _your _opinion you *** *** ******** ***** ************!"She just smiled at him.

"Try anger management."Persephone smirked, she knew she just struck a dissonant chord on Hades. Because the string snapped.

"Do you think you can come down here and tell me how to live my life? Anger management is for people like that hothead Zeus. I refuse to associate myself with him!"

"A few corrections. First, I didn't come here. You dragged me here. Second, I didn't tell you how to live your life. Just a suggestion, and last, you'd better get used to hearing people curse with your name. Cause I think Percy is about to get a little mad at Annabeth." Hades moaned in despair. He would have to survive an hour of anger management. With Mr.'I have the biggest ego in the world'(as in Zeus) While having his name use as a curse word. Utter torture. And a whole three thousand six hundred seconds of it.

**A/N: Did you like it? Are you reading this Authors Note? If both are a yes, then REVIEW! If both are a no, REVIEW! If one is a yes and the other is a no, REVIEW! If you didn't bother to answer, you are both lazy and ignorant. Just review anyway. **

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**P.P.P.S:It takes less than a minute. It's sooooo simple. Just press that little uh...um...button and *poof* it is magic. Get it? Then go review.**

**P.P.P.P.S.: This one isn't about review. It's just here to annoy you.**


	2. Humans are Really Weird

**A/N: I'm back(MUAHAHAHA!) with Chapter two of this story. Let's get going! But before we do that, let me thank my reviewers Rosanaa and NormalityIsNonexistent. Also, do ya mind if I ask you to...REVIEW? Yeah. I just asked you to do that. What a crime. And for the fake names I used Google Translate.**

**Chapter Two:Humans are Really Weird**

**(Somewhere on Earth)**

"Welcome to Anger Solutions. May I assist you?"a man behind a desk asked Zeus and Hades.

"Yes."Zeus replied, "My name is Magna. And my friend here is called Stultus." Hades glared at Zeus, who smirked.

"My name is definitely not 'Fool' and your name isn't 'Great'. Are you that stupid? You think using latin is so smart? You are dumber than I thought!"Hades muttered to Zeus. Zeus just kept smiling. The man punched a few buttons on his computer then looked back at the two.

"We have a spot open at two twenty five. Can you make it?"the man asked.

"Sure. Why not. It think my friend here will agree, as he doesn't talk a lot."Zeus said to the man. He nodded and asked for a credit card._ Holy Hades! A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR AN HOUR!_Zeus thought to himself. Hades just moaned and clutched his face. Zeus looked at his watch which said '1:30'.

"Perfect time to catch some lunch. Come on Stultus."Zeus cheerfully skipped out of the room, followed by an annoyed Hades.

Fifty minutes later, Zeus and Hades returned. Zeus was rubbing his stomach and muttering something about a cheeseburger and large fries, Hades was moaning about curse words, and the man that talked to them earlier was asleep at his desk. Zeus and Hades walked up to the desk. When the man didn't wake up, Zeus gave him a little shock.

"Aaaaahhh! I just got struck by lighting!"The man screamed, now awoken. "Oh. Just static electricity. I've always been afraid of being struck by lighting."he muttered to himself. "Your therapist should be here any second now, sirs."he told Zeus and Hades. Right after he said it, another man shouted at them.

"Come on in! This way."he said, pointing to a corridor on their left. Zeus and Hades followed him and were led into a small room with a table and three chairs. He sat down in one and motioned for Zeus and Hades to sit as well. When they were all ready, the man began.

"Okay. First, let us do introductions. My name is Gordon. What's yours?"

"My name is Quis."Zeus said proudly.

"I know you're lying."Gordon replied. But how did he know that?

"um...uh..."Zeus sputtered. Gordon smiled evilly.

"That's a trick I learned. You can tell lies by saying that. If the other person starts saying something like that or starts vehemently defending it, they are lying."Gordon laughed. Zeus immediately took a dislike to Gordon because of him getting embarassed. Hades immediately took a liking to him for the same reasons.

"Stop beating around the bush. What is your REAL name?"Gordon asked.

"If you are the bush, then you are about to get beaten!"Zeus roared. Gordon just smiled and nodded. Apparently he had experienced this many times already.

"Calm down."Hades said to Zeus. Zeus shot Hades with his master bolt. Gordon looked at them disapprovingly. Hades yawned and a bunch of skeletons shot out of the ground and started to attack Zeus. He shot again and the skeletons crumpled to dust.

"Do not turn the lights on and off and do not play with dolls!"Gordon glared at them. Zeus and Hades both looked at him, offended. Then they realized that it was the Mist. "Now, since you are a little twitchy,"he pointed at Zeus, "I'll ask this man instead."

"My name is..."Hades took a moment to think, "Nick!"

"Hmmm...I think you are lying."Gordon said. Hades looked at him like he was crazy.

"Why would I lie? My name is not a classified secret, as _some_ people's are,"he purposefully emphasized the word 'some' and looked at Zeus. Hades and Zeus soon started beating each other up while Gordon muttered something along the lines of "Two peas in a pod."

"What! I am not a vegetable and will never be one!"Zeus paused to scream at Gordon. Gordon just shook his head disapprovingly and said, "Mad as a hatter.". This time Hades spoke.

"Mad hatter? Did someone say Mad Hatter? I remember reading that book! Though I forgot the name..."Hades said. Gordon all of a sudden screamed, "Well poke me in the head and blast me in the stomach, I've just diagnosed your anger!"Hades and Zeus both looked at him, slightly stunned. Then Zeus zapped him in the stomach and Hades sent a skeleton to poke him through the head with a knife.

"Hmm...That didn't work too well."Zeus leaned over the now dead Gordon. Alarms started sounding outside and people could be heard screaming. A policeman ran into the room.

"They did it! They killed him!"he shouted.

"Someone is as mad as a hornet..."Hades muttered while Zeus shocked him unconscious. Then they both teleported away.

**A/N: Probably not as funny, since I sort of rushed it. Still, I hope you liked it. If you want more, then REVIEW! K?**

**InheriM:Please Review!**

**Readers: Nah.**

**InheriM: Review or I will use my mind control!**


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